If you pay close attention, you will see the hairs on my head go gray…or more gray I should say. You would think with this last book being my fourth book to publish that I would have it down to a science…nope…never seems to go exactly as planned. Book one, Do I Know You, was quite a learning experience, including hours of research, fixing, more researching, and more fixing. I did learn a lot, but by the time I finished book two, Taking What Is Mine, and was ready for the publishing part, I found I had to relearn certain areas. By the time I got to my third book, As If Yesterday, I thought I wouldn’t have any problems…YIKES…wrong again. So, I bought myself a notebook and started a “How To” book…oh yeah, now that’s the ticket…no more questions.

Ha…fool that I am, I get to book four, Four of Spades, and think it should be a slam-dunk…but nope, still learning. I had a major formatting issue that took two calls to Microsoft (neither of which helped), along with more research, trial, and errors, but I figured it out. If you have issues formatting, please feel free to contact me at cjv750@gmail.com, since I’ve pretty much run across everything and anything that can go wrong.

As Dragonfly Press, I publish through CreateSpace, via Amazon, and I have to say they are great. One big reason I love being an indie author is because first off, no deadlines other than what I put on myself, but also I do not have to surrender any creativity. I control all of it, from the size of the book to creating my book cover. They have template book covers that give you the freedom of adding a photo, color choices, lettering style, and much more. Of course, you can hire someone through their site to create your cover…but I’m a “starving artist” so anywhere I can save a buck, I’m all over that one.

There are forum/community help sites to guide you if you get stumped. It can be daunting for sure, but generally speaking, their step-by-step process is user-friendly.

What is important is to be sure the formatting on your manuscript is perfect, because when you are ready to publish, you have to cut/paste each chapter, along with lead-in pages and end pages, such as Author Note, onto a template. You will have to format again within the template, but it’s all part of the process. Once everything is done, and you have saved your interior template, you save it again as a PDF and upload to your file. Even though you will get a chance to review it right away, it’s important to order the proof copy. When you get that book in your hand for the first time, the excitement mirrors the feeling you had when you finished writing it.

So, here you are standing there with your printed book in your hand, and you don’t want to put it down. Okay…so start reading, and then read again. Make notes, dog-ear pages, and then read it again. When you are ready, be sure you make any changes to both your manuscript and your template copy. I always trash my first PDF before I get started with corrections so that I don’t upload the wrong PDF to the system.

At this point, I’m feeling pretty good about the book, as far as the cover and the interior are concerned. But, I still order one more proof copy to examine. If everything is good, then I approve the book for final publication.

One step I learned the hard way was NOT to use their Kindle version. But don’t worry I’ll have the answer for you in my next blog. It will be all about creating an e-book…so stay tuned, and until then, happy reading.

So, now I’ve finished my first novel…YAHOOOOOOO. Yikes, what do I do now? It was fun, regardless of the hard work to write the story, but editing is not as much fun, and it’s tricky too. There are different ways to get through this process. I used a couple of different ones. I went through the book myself first…word by word. Then I hired an editor. When I received my manuscript back I went through the task of making all the necessary/suggested changes, along with line edits/corrections. Are you bored to tears yet? I know I am…because by now I’ve read my story, which I already know all too well, too many times and I’m word blind.

Finally, I’m done and almost ready for the publishing part, but first, let’s get this baby off to a beta reader. I met this gal at the stock show in Colorado. She and her husband had a booth of glass items they were selling. I love anything glass, so Dan and I stopped to see what they had at their booth. Dan chatted with her husband while I became quick friends with this lady. We had a lot in common, so when I mentioned I’d recently finished my first novel she was all over that one. She told me she did beta reads for many authors and offered to read mine. After exchanging information, we were off to see what other vendors had to offer.

A few days later, I got ready to send my manuscript off to her…but found my stomach twisting a bit. Not because I didn’t think she was a reputable person, trust me I checked her out…but because my novel was my baby. Any mother can relate to the sense of dread that hits when you send your child off for the first day of school. I was so proud of my novel, but my sense of confidence was about to go out the window as soon as I hit the send button. That was when I realized that everyone has an opinion, and if I wasn’t ready to handle the comments I wouldn’t be ready to publish. So, I pulled up my bootstraps and hit that send button. As days went by, my heart hurt, I’ve now exposed every part of me too, in reality, a stranger. I was a nervous wreck. When I spotted a response from her in my inbox, my heart stopped. Imagine my excitement when I read the following:

I read your book right away, and very quickly I might add.  It is so full of suspense that I really didn’t want to put it down 🙂  I loved all of the characters, except for Rob of course.  I don’t know how he thought he would get away with killing sweet Sara.  But, then again, he probably had a scheme for that outcome as well.  I loved the happy ending for Sara and Brandon!  Since we had talked about our mutual love of dragonflies, it was fun to read that they were details in her wedding dress and veil.  Great touch!

Now, if you haven’t read my first novel, I’m sorry if I’ve shared too much…guess this is as good a time as ever to pick up a copy…right?? Anyhow, back to my purpose of sharing that review, which is my excitement that she loved it. First major hurdle was done…whew. So as much work goes into writing the book, triple that for the amount of work that goes into editing that, and I say that with a conservative tone.

Next, stay tuned for a look into the life of self-publishing…happy writing.

What is faith to me? I’ll tell you one thing, it’s not all these darn labels we live with. Sure there are labels we need in order to get the assistance, recognition, and awareness needed to help others…such as April being the Awareness for Autism month, or Suicide Awareness in September, but when it comes to my faith…don’t call me Christian and expect me to pump up my chest in pride. I have found many that use their religious denomination as a cover for evil, a reason to sin, or a mask to hide their truth. My definition of “faith” is “holding onto hope”. It comes in many flavors…for some it means going to church every Sunday. Others it means standing in the forest and enjoying God’s beauty. Some people read their bibles every day “faithfully” – while others struggle to talk to God at all. There are prayer groups, all “religions” have them…and they will pray until they can pray no more, sometimes on their knees, for whatever is needed.

I am a follower of Jesus Christ, I believe in who He is and that he is the Son of God. Do I need to prove it by going to church, reading my bible daily, volunteering my services? I use to think that was important. I use to feel the only way to prove my faith was to visibly be a good Christian, which, I might add, is impossible. So, now I’d have to answer no. I already know how I feel in my heart, and that living life as He feels I should is the only thing that matters to me. If I fail, it’s up to me to ask for forgiveness. Will I stop going to church, stop praying, or stop reading my bible…no, but do I do it because I’m a Christian and it’s expected of me…no. Holding onto hope means living in my faith as I feel is needed…I don’t care if I’m judged by others, because in the long run only Jesus can judge me.

Holding onto hope means we want something that helps to define what we are here on earth, and that there is something greater waiting for us when we die. Hope fills us with courage, strength, and an endurance we might not be able to muster up without it.

I don’t care what faith you are…I only care that you feel it’s what you need to get through your day, and to find promise in tomorrow. So, whether you are Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Catholic, Spiritual, Atheist…it doesn’t matter as long as you have faith. So, pray, walk, meditate, or whatever you feel keeps your faith strong…take the steps you need knowing that thread of faith, no matter how weak or strong will be the key to holding onto hope.

I’ve been a planner my entire life – maybe not always long term but a planner just the same. Sometimes it can’t be avoided, such as flying my granddaughter back to Colorado. Let’s face it, with the price of travel you have to plan in advance to get the best (such as they are) prices. Plans for vacations, parties, family gatherings…all good things.
But over the past year I’ve listened to my husband say these four words “live in the moment”…and I’ve worked hard to get there. I have learned that what is happening at that moment in time is more important because you will never get it back. I am convinced that to worry about what is to come takes away from what is now…and I have done that far too much. I knew when I grew up I wouldn’t live the life my parents did, may they rest in peace, I made a different plan for myself. As a young mother, I planned everything from when to do bath time to what meals to make. I had a list of all the meals I knew how to prepare (not necessarily good, but…) and made a coordinated grocery list for each week. It helped me with my budget, shopping trips, and provided me with time to be with my children for zoo trips, watching a TV show, and reading bedtime stories, without the stress of trying to fit too much in a day.  It was a great system, but one I let go of years ago. I had a list of my lists…everything was scheduled and planned. I still plan out meals, but in the morning with a “hmm…wonder what’s in the freezer I can make for dinner” type of plan. So many times I planned out something for my children’s future, only to have it backfire…it’s a thing called life. But I never gave up…I’d plan again, fail, only to plan again and sometimes succeed. It’s who I am…and who I’m trying to change. There are and always will be aspects of life that require some planning, but other than those times, I try to live in the moment. I spent the past few days with my Colorado crew (stepdaughter, son-in-law, and grandkids) and we had no plans…just letting life happen was enough. If we considered doing something and a new plan transpired we went for it.
What I am driving at is no one’s future is guaranteed – this thought is not new, but comes on the cusp of new information on someone I love – so if this is the last moment we have on this earth, then it needs to be the best it can be. I get politics are important, the state of our country isn’t what it should be, that crime and sadness are all around…but I want to enjoy every moment the best I can. Like having fun with family and friends just hanging out, sharing stories, lending an ear, sharing a tear or even better, a laugh. I can’t fix the problems of the world, so I prefer to be happy. Yes, I will still argue with my husband, or get irritated at a driver, but I’m learning to let things go a bit easier. I guess you could say my “give a darn” is busted. Life has a way of reminding us that every moment is precious. Every moment is a new chance to get it right, and every moment is a chance to tell someone that you love them, or as cliche as it sounds, to spell the roses. So for all us planners in the world…think about letting it go. As hard as it is, it is also very liberating…I know because this day, this moment, and even this second will never happen again, and for this great moment I couldn’t be happier…so live in the moment…go on…be brave. Let go of the future and look at your present…because as the word says, it is simply that…a present.

Those magic words “The End” are two very bittersweet words. When I finished my first novel, Do I Know You, I was filled with mixed emotions. I’d completed a major accomplishment, and I was pumped and proud of myself. I couldn’t wait to tell someone, anyone…but I was home alone. I wanted to shout from the rooftops, run up and down the street yelling “I did it”…but instead I let the adrenaline run through my body as I paced the house waiting for my husband to come home. All I wanted was to share this significant event. I stared out the window hoping someone would stop by for a visit, at which point, I would rapidly spill the good news. It’s an incredible experience…one that is quite difficult to put into words.

Then the reality of being done set in, and suddenly I was sad. I began to miss my characters, miss the story, and regretted bringing it to an end. What a sad state of affairs when you find yourself wanting to hit the rewind button and undo everything I had worked so hard to write.

Here’s the deal, while I was writing I was living it. Yes, I know it’s all in my head, but I became a part of each scene as if I was standing on the beach. I can feel the movement of Sara’s hair as if it is my own. Being a writer means having the ability to project yourself right into the world you are creating. When each day is done, and you have to stop writing and be part of your real family, it’s hard…you almost want to refuse, but fair is fair…right?

Times when I have been a bit stumped and can’t get going with a scene, I realize that I have just taken the wrong bus to the party…so I grab another bus and get moving. Because I write the end of the story before filling in the middle, I can see the finish line and find it easier to create the scenes to get there…but still “writer’s block” is real, thankfully it’s not something I deal with often, but I’m not immune.

When I started the project, I only cared about finishing it…making my dream come true. Now that I was finished, what was I to do then?

Stay tuned for my next blog and I’ll answer that question.