Who Are You?

It may be an odd question to ask, but so many of us say, “I’m me, why would I act like I’m anyone else” – we act the way people expect, and that is not always who we are inside.

Last July, my twenty-one-year-old granddaughter, Sav, told me she identifies as a boy. She has since made this truth available for others to know. His name is Orion (pronouced like the constellation), and, yes, it was hard when I saw him in August to think of him as…well, “him” and not refer to him by his birth gender or name. He is beautiful and brave to me, and through my understanding/acceptance, I have grown with this change. Not that it has made letting go of my granddaughter any easier, but I’m getting through that phase bit-by-bit.

I get up every morning, look in the mirror, and know I am a female; there is no question in my mind. I also know I am heterosexual, no doubt in my mind there as well.

Can you imagine looking in the mirror and not see the person you are “supposed” to be? What if you don’t identify with who is staring back at you? Perhaps the knowledge was there for a long time, but how do you explain to others that you’re not who you appear to be, or how society wants you to be?

Statistically, there are about 100 million births worldwide every year. Some are not born with ten toes and ten fingers. Some don’t get the IQ that would stand out in a crowd. Some of us are lefties, while the general public is right-handed. Some have blue eyes, while others have brown eyes – but we see the occasion green eyes. Some cannot see. Others cannot hear. The list goes on and on – but we accept people as they are because we believe the heart and soul of that person are good.

We can understand their physical difference from ours because we can see it. It is either physically evident or a mentally challenged person, but we see and recognize.

These physical/mental differences develop as our body evolves in the womb. The DNA has inherent characteristics. The extra chromosome, or a misfire of others.

So many variables are visual to us, but if someone is gay, transgender, or hasn’t figured out who is looking back in that mirror yet, the acceptance isn’t there.

Many squawk because the LGBTQ groups have a parade in an attempt be accepted. Today you will see gay people on television and movies, so people see and learn to accept it as usual, or whatever the term might be. Those opposed call it indoctrination; others say it is non-traditional, so they don’t want to see it on their screens. Others say it is what the kids are being taught in school – “it’s a radical left” movement.

Maybe if there had been a parade for “left-handed” people (like me) back in the early days, people might have accepted them? But that didn’t happen. Instead, they were burned as witches. How many people must hide who they are to make unaccepting people happy?

We have grown accustomed to seeing sex, violence, and drugs on TV – and many of us do not change the channel. Yet a gay/transgender person isn’t accepted? Someone born hermaphroditism aka intersex, a condition of having both male and female reproductive organs, is understood because that is visual at birth, but what will the prominent sex be? No one knows until the child is older. Just because it isn’t visible to people that someone is gay or transgender shouldn’t matter – it is their body and soul this is dictating who they love, who they identify as, or who they feel they are in their heart of hearts.

The world is changing. I get the fact that not all change is good. As a Baby Boomer, I choose to hang on to some of my traditional ways along with embracing the new. I will always remember, love, and learn from our history, our parents culture and traditions. Not everything was bad regardless of what so many Gen X and Millenniums think. Life is different now, and true to change there may be areas that are bad, but there is also good changes for many people.

Sometimes we are personally connected to a situation that changes us, our thoughts, our feelings, our beliefs. I chose to change, to accept, to be understanding because I have no right to judge another person.

What I also choose to keep true is when I love someone I want to love them with all of my heart. I may have to grieve the loss of my granddaughter, Savy, but I’m so happy to love my grandson, Orion. Love is love.