Rolling To The End

Here I am – again – rolling to the end of my time in the PNW. I arrived on October 25th and will fly back to Michigan on December 5th. I have stayed at one sister’s home, filling up my sister-time meter with great food, fun movies, and lots of chatting and laughs. I’ve traveled to Canada to visit another sister, yes, more meter filling…lol. I’ve spent time with my best friends shopping, eating, and laughing. I had my “Nana and Jo time” (14 yr old granddaughter) and had Disney movie time with my future stepgranddaughter. I smiled continuously at my future stepgrandson’s 4th birthday party – there are not enough cuteness words to describe this little guy. I’ve made a few dinners to enjoy at my daughter’s and future son-in-law’s home. When we have finished eating, we stay at the table and one at a time we share what was the best part of our day (which for me is always being with them, but I choose other things that happened during the day, so I don’t sound repetitive), and then I crash on their couch for the night or a few nights. When morning rolls around, I watch their routine that is flawless and timely, yet, still reminds me of how lucky I am to be retired.
I was very excited to be here for my daughter’s 40th birthday celebration. Everyone was invited to join in her “turning 40 birthday book drive.” The books were to be for children 5-13 yrs old and will be donated to Spruce Elementary. Kristin’s heart is always in the right place for the right reason, and her selfless birthday plan was no exception. Her book drive yielded over one hundred books. I am so proud of Kristin and blessed to have her and her integrity in my life. Makes a mama smile.
My sister, brother-in-law, and I did the Wings Over Washington ride downtown on Pier 57. Highly recommend it – what a blast. I also came within seconds of deciding to do the Wheel – but chickened out – maybe next time. It’s at the end of the dock with a view like no other, so the temptation gets stronger as I think about riding it. That was my first trip downtown since the viaduct was removed, and I had no idea how beautiful some of the architecture was until I got the full view with no viaduct in the way. I’ve posted some of the photos on Facebook. I do love downtown Seattle and the beauty it holds for my eyes – Seattle will always be in my soul.
I still have a few more days filled with plans to watch Jo’s rehearsal for a play she is in that doesn’t go to stage until after I leave, a birthday movie date with Kristin, and as much time as I can fit in with family and friends before “big bird” takes me back to Michigan.
Time goes by fast, and I’ve been busy filling it with all the people I hold so dear to my heart. At times it feels my life is a double-edged sword that I carry around slicing through my heart when I am away from one side but enjoying the other. As the holidays near, I thought I’d manage okay, but that is not the case. I can not speak for anyone other than myself but the holidays carry with them happiness and great memories, but also, sadness because I miss those that have passed on, I miss the traditions I was so much a part of…simply said depression sneaks in. Many things are mixed in, guilt for moving away from my family, for actions I took that made changes in my life and affected others…a mixed bag. Not that I don’t enjoy the celebrations that I am involved in, but they have changed over the years – I want the old times back, I want them frozen in time so they will never melt away…but that isn’t how life is. It is continually changing, evolving, being edited – it’s keeping up with those changes that tend to throw me off guard and into a meltdown…admittedly a couple of times a season – but the rest of the time I’m smiling, laughing and having a great time. Maybe this is too much information, but it is me…real and raw.
Dan stayed in Michigan to hunt while I was here, and though we miss each other, he is happy I had this extended time with family and friends. Since we didn’t get to have Thanksgiving together, I plan to make a turkey with all the trimmings when I get home, to bring a bit of that hometime feeling back to the cabin.
I want to add that it is okay if I have multiple emotions during this holiday season. I love the atmosphere filling the air with holiday cheer. It merely means, perhaps for many of us, that it is also a time that emotions can run high – be it sad, happy, silly, or joyful – I still know mine always settles back into simply being thankful.

As always, thank you for reading my ramblings – and a big Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all…xoxo