Sometimes…..I have

Questions in life…..I have many. I desire….no I want…..actually I plead for answers but they run from me, hiding around the corner just out of reach. I can feel their presence…hear them whispering as they taunt me with their words.

I was eager to get older, to caress wisdom in my arms. Thinking I would have some of the answers that alluded me for so many years. Yet, I find myself still searching, waiting for the right corner to be turned, maybe find an answer magically waiting for me wearing a silly grin.

I want to wrap answers in beautiful boxes with silver paper that glistens in the light. Colorful ribbons flowing in the breeze, soft and sure. Then I could send the boxes to ones I love to help them in life. I imagine the happiness in their hearts when they open the box to find answers floating into the air. Their fingers tickled by the breeze as they grasp them in their hands.

I consider happiness a state of mind, but it can not produce answers…..just ease the search for them, I believe. Are the answers really that important…..can they change the outcome of what was….my desire for sure, but I believe not. Though somehow I sense perhaps they will help the future. Though I believe in one book that is filled with love, hope, courage and truth and find comfort in its words, those aren’t the only answers I seek.

Is it maybe, just a little…..or by my own admission a lot….my blindness in life that stopped me from seeing the answers. Were they always there for me to see, hold, touch? If I had seen them clearly, surely they would have helped me through life, then I could have passed them on to others with loving care….a thought that gives me peace. But I missed them, and now…..well….questions are left unanswered. I won’t stop searching for answers while I continue to love life in its wonderous light. At times, closing my eyes and imagining answers in their softness wrapping around me like a warm blanket…..assuring me they are there, like beautiful jewels for all of us.